be gentle, it's my first time...

...although technically, this isn't the first but rather the abashed continuation of an entire slew of half-finished efforts and aborted ideas. I couldn't really say why I keep coming back to this concept. If you think about it, most personal blogs tend to lie somewhere between diary and conversation -- although, with the now time-honored formula of Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad (otherwise known as the Penny Arcade Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory), blogs tend to be more of a very public confessional. All the benefits of soul-purging without any of the moral responsibility or therapist bills.

The emo high-schooler in me (never very far beneath the surface) would say that personal blogging is a method of trying to affirm one's existence through connection with the larger world, because throwing one's thoughts out on the wind is almost akin to believing that just because it's there, someone will read it -- and therefore, that it's worth reading.

So, before we get started, let's lay down some ground rules. Of course, I reserve the right to break any of these rules on a whim.

1) You cannot simply recount what you did during the day. Step-by-step. In excruciating, picayune detail. I'm sure your life is fascinating to someone, but in order to ensure that you attract competent stalkers, you must refrain from selling out the details of your life so cheaply. It's all about quality control, my friends.

2) You cannot post something you saw on digg, cnn, youtube, or any other content site unless what you have to say about it is longer than two sentences. Other people's wit is not a substitute for originality.

3) Actually, 2) also goes for links to other content in general, unless they're used for reference. This is the last content restriction. Your blog is your own; now that people are listening, do you have anything to say?

4) If you post pictures that you took, you must comment on them to some degree. I mean, there must be a reason you posted it, right? Blogs are not a substitute for Picasa. And comments like "Here's me and Karen at the Qcup..." do not count. Yes, I can see that it's you and Karen at the Qcup -- so what?

5) Pictures of yourself must not be all in a drunk/drinking context. If that is the only context in which pictures of you can reasonably expect to be taken, then you have bigger problems than a boring blog.

6) You must try to the best of your ability to adhere to commonly accepted rules of English grammar, spelling, and punctuation. The only exception is 1337speak or gaim-grammar, if you can show that you're using it to prove a point or to maintain dialectic integrity.

7) If you post music, make sure it's legal. And remember, anything is legal unless you get caught.

And so, we begin. Not to be too contradictory about it, but I'll leave with a parting shot from a movie that was all about expressing oneself regardless of your content.

"But in order to know virtue, we must acquaint ourselves with vice. Only then can we know the full measure of man. So come... I Dare you... Turn the page... "

You're into me now for one post, at least.